Ok God - What do you really wantt?

OK - God what do you really want?

I read on a blog - yesterday I think -but I don’t remember which one - that the blogger writes in order to learn how to write ( at least this one did) - and that stuck me as a basic truth - it makes sense - we learn by doing - and so I think that is what I am attempting to do here - learn how to write - which is something I’ve wanted to do since I was 15. ( and yes that is a loooooonggggggggg time ago)

 And so maybe that is, in part, why I became a pastor - so that I could be forced to write every week - or almost anyway. Not necessarily what I have to say - but what needs to be said through me……it is all about God after all…

It seems rather presumptuous to say that I ‘want’ to write - after all what in the world could I possible say that anyone would want to hear ? What in the world could I possibly write that anyone would want to read? I’m not Stephen King or Anne Dillard .. But maybe they feel inadequate too, I have no idea……….

Anyway - this week’s gospel is the parable of the slaves and the talents -

(Matthew 25:31-46) both multiplied and buried. Talents - not as in $$$ - but as in what God has given us to use to do God’s work - abilities, skills, aptitude

(remember those tests??) etc….. All tho depending on who you read it could be $$, stewardship, end times, judgment or all of the above.

Maybe summed up in Micah 6:8, What does God require of us?

‘He has told you, O mortal, what is good; and what does the LORD require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God? ‘

What else is there?

But this is hard work - this is that transition point between taking the risk or not - settling into complacency - that point at which we make a crucial decision - follow the yearnings of your (my) heart - or squash it all into perpetual silence… except that God’s calling is never really squashed - buried maybe for a while - like the talent of the 3^rd slave - but the voice - that small still voice will have it’s day…………. .

And will not be denied…… transitions indeed………..

And so another night of crunch and slurp - the dogs are dreaming in frantic motion on the floor beside me…my spouse is snoring gently in the other room, the full moon is making dancing patterns on the floor as I try to make sense of God‘s world and my place in it. Maybe we are not meant to understand - I don’t really believe that - but it’s hard - this understanding stuff - but then ……God never promised us an easy journey - God did promise a journey that is led by an experienced guide - the original trailblazer Himself………..Christ our Lord and King…………………..sleep well my late night friends …. May it all be well with your soul................
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Ok - so we’re on our way home from the restaurant - driving sort of north by northwest ( wasn’t that an old movie --- yes actually a Cary Grant 1959!!) and I’m struck by the sky - it’s just dark enough that the clouds are in bas relief against the sky - sort of a paled down version of milky midnight blue. Yet other transition point - the now fall night sky versus yesterday’s summer….
The change of seasons is one of those obvious transitions - from season to season………………but it also brings with it a change in mindset - a change in mood - tank tops to sweaters - sandals to loafers - swimming pool to hot tub……………………
We are entering the season of dying down, trees turning crimson gold, corn is a golden glow in the fields, the beans are almost dry and hard……………
I’m thinking that this is a transition that we need - from the frenzied activities of summer to the more relaxed days of fall - warm sun but cool air and nights, a gearing down towards the cold days to come - and yes the holiday madcap - but that is a different story……………
In the church year we are quickly coming to the end. Advent, the beginning of the new church year - the season of waiting and expectation -  is right around the corner - a mere 7weeks away………but in the meantime, rather than live in the future, we do need to remember that we are in the now and relish each moment because it will never be repeated……….
And so I guess I’m suggesting that we be grateful - that I be grateful - for what is now - be it a funny silly spouse - a mea culpa from a friend that forgot something important to you - a shared meal with a loved one - a bon voyage to a co-worker off on another life journey - whatever…………
Gratitude is the ultimate transition between life dead and life loved and alive………………
　

The Journey with Jesus: Poems and Prayers

Selected by Dan Clendenin

Wendell Berry (born 1934)
The Peace of Wild Things

When despair for the world grows in me
and I wake in the night at the least sound
in fear of what my life and my children's lives may be,
I go and lie down where the wood drake
rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds.
I come into the peace of wild things
who do not tax their lives with forethought
of grief. I come into the presence of still water.
And I feel above me the day-blind stars
waiting with their light. For a time
I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.

I seem to be spending a lot of time lately in the dark reflecting……… eating taco chips that I should leave in the pantry - and that one glass of wine that will prevent me from sleeping all night …. But,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Transitions are not just at the shore of water and earth - they are also at wine and bread - (chew on that one for awhile!!) and at that point in conversation between concrete reality and free imagination……………commonly known as thinking outside the box…..
What does God want us to do?
and more importantly - how does God want us to do it?
because we must?
because we can?
because we care able?
because no one else will?

NO - because we love ----- and because God in Christ Jesus loves us. period end of conversation.
Even as I write these words - I understand the enormity of them - LOVE - who me?? why me? let the next guy do it , I‘m busy…………….

My congregation is struggling with the question “who and what will we be when we ‘grow up’?? and in all fairness - I struggle with this question as well. I guess the 1^{st ( and most important )} question is - ‘what grow up, why do I want to do that!!’

But as Christians - that is what we are called to do - grow up not so much as adults as we think of it in this 21st century - but growing in the faith - maturing in the name of Jesus……………………………….......................

we may feel like we are all still in preschool - but the reality is that we are not. Middle school maybe - college- no. but we are still in school nevertheless.

And will be until that day when we see God face to face -

And all God’s children say ……………AMEN

Sometime last year I came across a book titled “This I Believe,” edited by Jay Allison & Dan Geidman. It is based on the 1950’s NPR series by Edward Murrow, and is a compilation of essays by both remarkable and normal everyday people about normal everyday things - the things that they believe in. And the invitation is open to everyone to participate. ( www.thisibelieve.org) And so I took pen to paper, actually keyboard to lap, and started to sort out what I believe in………….

This I believe:
We were made to be creative to make new, to fly with our imaginations and soar with God.

I believe in putting words on paper to bring a new idea to life. I believe in putting colors on a canvas to express what is in the heart - one’s most joyous joy and deepest sorrow, breath holding expectation, the safety of a mother’s love or the frightening depths of despair.

And there is an expectation - a waiting for something new in the young - caterpillars turn into butterflies, puppies turn into loyal companions.

But until that metamorphosis happens, it is an unknown. What comes out of that new thing is a surprise - God’s surprise - only God knows.

I believe in the hope of a new creation because I have known despair. I have gone to sleep with the veil of despair my only companion. And I have known of the sharp cutting edge of the light of hope tearing the veil to shreds . I believe the antidote for the poison of despair is creativity because in creativity there is something new, something to behold, something to hold on to, something to draw one up out of the depths, something………………..

Only God knows what the possibilities are and what the results will be, but we mere humans have been given the gift of hope - hope that this creation of God’s will not be denied.

Scripture tells us we who believe in Christ are a new creation - in Christ - the old has died and the new is reborn - there is trust and hope in that creative process - God’s creative process…

That hope is the certainty that all WILL be well with my soul.

God created - in six days he kick started the world - saw what He had done and called it good.

When I cannot be creative, when I cannot think of a new idea or make something new - or even want to - I’ll know that I am dead.

ponderings

8-26-11
It was the summer of 2000 -   June - and my mother had died a few weeks prior - we were in Pass Christian, at the shore of the Gulf of Mexico, which after Hurricane Katrina pretty much didn’t exist anymore. Our bed and breakfast was across the street from the beach. I was wrapped up in grief and sorrow that night and went walking along the beach. I gave a lot of thought to walking out into the water and not coming back - it wasn’t so much that I wanted to die - as to stop hurting. I found a little sail boat that someone had made out of Popsicle sticks and catgut and cloth - and it was a life raft for me - reminding me that we do not sail through life alone…it’s still sitting on my bookcase……………

In the summer of 2009 we graveled to Greece, sailed on a boat through several of the Greek isles. And while there were no crisis to muddle through - it was still relaxing to watch the water - whether from the boat or from the cafes scattered along the coast in small towns. All of Greece is dotted with white sugar cube houses w/ blue doors along rocky coastlines and the thought came to me that maybe I should record my thoughts - Thoughts about those transitional places - like the still point in dance - the nano second between then and now - between present and future.

The shores in our lives are not always at the edge of the sea - but often are a transition point between one place in our lives and another. Between grief and acceptance - anger and love - compassion and cynicism, love and indifference.

The stories of Jesus often place him at the shore - but more importantly - at the edge of understanding and confusion - not only among his disciples but with the crowds that often gathered around him as well.

And so this collection is just that - the shoreline between understanding and confusion, between disbelief and belief. Between going hungry and being feed.

These ramblings are a doorway to a deeper understanding, a doorway to an insight – a doorway to that place where the grace of God is made real and touchable and palpable, where we can take it in and abide in Christ.   For me anyway and maybe for you too.

So what feeds you? What and where are your shore lines?