crumbs .................

I started this blog about 6 years ago as a way of reflecting on, and making observations about, (and trying to make sense of)  faith (mine), life, spirituality and the intersection of those ideas. I thought I had something to say and this seemed the best way to do it.  After a while I stopped, as I ran out of things to say. And then life threw me a curve and I felt the need to blog again – and so picked it up again about 3 months go…

When I started 6 years ago this is what I said as an introduction:

I am an ordained pastor in the Evangelical Lutheran Church of America.  My vocational callings have run the gamut from door to door encyclopedia salesperson to insurance broker to bartender to social worker to pastor.  I have traveled extensively and almost always find myself at the waters edge, on the water, in the water or flying over it.  Life isn’t just a journey, it’s a ‘trip’, where I stumble and fall, skin my knees and bruise my ego.  But it is also full of surprises, joys, disappointments and wonder.

The name of the blog was taken from what is assumed to be a comment from Martin Luther about how we are to live our lives.  Walking wet as in wet from the waters of our baptism – a reminder of how we Lutherans are to live each day – remembering whose we are and what we are about.  Children of God – living out our call to love one another.

Today something shifted in me, and maybe even turned a corner.

crumbs of life: creatingagreatday.com

I was at church this morning (good place to be!!), sitting in the first row of pews (good Lutheran that I am), in a congregation that I knew well.  And so I had a clear view of the giving and receiving of the sacrament of communion, something I usually don’t see from this vantage point. Communion was received by intinction, 2 orderly lines of people coming and going as we know how to do. As the presider was clearing the table, covering up the bread and wine, chalice and plate I noticed something.

First of all I noticed that not everything on the altar was covered - 2 chalices were left out from under the white cloth. 

 

And I noticed the crumbs. Crumbs on the floor – in stark relief against the dark red of the carpet – and everywhere - like the leaves in my backyard.  What a mess!

What a mess, indeed! A glorious mess!

And I couldn’t help but think.  Life is like that – messy. The bits and pieces of our daily lives scattered all over the place.  Bits and pieces of our lives uncovered, to be seen as only God can.

Think family dinner – Easter, Thanksgiving, Christmas – any family gathering around the table and the meal. All have eaten now and conversation ebbs and flows, the leftovers languishing in the uncovered bowls and platters.  Maybe someone is even  nibbling on the leftover turkey leg. Wine is poured or coffee – laughter maybe, maybe something serious to consider – but a family gathered around table and meal. 

And if there are children? Children who have not yet mastered the art of silverware, or maybe it is Uncle John, old enough to forget the art of silverware – and so there are crumbs. Kinda like that 1^st birthday cake that the child dives into face first – hands grabbing frosting and maybe it gets to the mouth, maybe not.

You know what I’m talking about.

Crumbs – leftovers from a messy meal.

Crumbs – the results of a messy life. And life is messy – mine has been these last 3 months – and yours will to if it hasn’t already.  You know what I’m talking about.  Many of you have been there. Crumbs (or maybe the whole loaf) of despair, hurt, grief and mourning, anger, illness, sadness, frustration, and on and on………and maybe even crumbs of love and hope and faith.

Life is messy.  If you like orderly, this life is not for you. Just like with the giving and receiving of the bread and wine this morning, we do not do this thing called life alone. It is a communal affair, like that family dinner.

God calls us through the waters of our baptism to be a community, a family of faith.  God calls us to be in communion with one another. Communion – together -  with -  in union. And there was plenty of that this morning. And it felt good.

But what about the crumbs on that red carpet?  The women of the altar guild will clear and clean the table – the custodian will vacuum the carpet – willingly, all of them.  And the crumbs of our messy lives?  No - the dog will not get to these, ‘cuz God already has and will continue to do so.

God is there is the mess of our lives and s/he will vacuum up the crumbs. God will gather them up: and here is the kicker – make something new out of them, like scraps of pie dough.

‘Always being made new….’ Lutherans, remember??

God will take the crumbs of my grieving and mourning and do something with them – what I’m not yet sure -but I can wait. Don’t have much choice really.

The mourning is not over – not by a long shot – but at least I’m ok with leaving the crumbs on the floor.

So here’s to the surprises, joys, disappointments and wonder – and the crumbs……….