Let's talk..

Bastile Day, July 14, 2011, Briare Canal and the Lore River, France. A celebration.

As a 15/16 year old teen, I wanted to be a writer.  I thought I had something to say.  And I did to my private journal- for quite awhile, actually.   Then I became a pastor and I had to write often – once a month for the newsletter and also once a week – it’s called a sermon, and various and sundry bits and pieces along the way. And then I started a blog because I thought I had something to say – and for awhile I did.  I really didn’t matter if anyone read it– it was for me. I couldn’t not write what was on my mind.

 And so here I am again.  There is something about putting your thoughts on paper (or screen, same difference).  It does help to clarify – to discern – to  figure it out – when life throws you a curve ball that you cannot catch.

I just learned that a member of my extended family is now on hospice. My brothers-in-law’s sister in-law (?). Anyway, family nonetheless.

Cancer – of course. This will make 3 heart wrenching, unexpected, difficult life events in as many months.

And you know what? We, as a society, and more importantly as a CHURCH, do not do enough to prepare.  We simply do not talk about this – except in outlandish theological words that are, for the everyday, meaningless.

I know we teach and presume to believe in the resurrection of the body – it happened to Jesus and we presume it will happen to us someday – somewhere.  But what does that have to do with today – with the now of my husband’s death? Or the death of a good friend that did not necessarily believe in this theological ‘stuff’? Or the other pastor’s wife who maybe did? What about that?  
What consolation is there for the now?

I don’t know…for me, here and now, not much.

I have preached at funerals, because I do believe it, that our memories of our loved one, our sharing stories and jokes and life events of our loved one is, in part,  what we mean by eternal life.  ( I’m not sure what the other part is..).  That as long as there is a memory of that person, s/he lives.  After that? I have no clue… and guess what – no one else does either…………..

But what can we do now to help with this dilemma that everyone faces and no one is prepared for?
Let’s talk about death – let’s talk about what we think and believe – let’s talk about what we might want for ourselves – let’s talk about it.   Let’s take away the stigma  of death – it is a part of life – we know it will happen to all of us. It is inevitable. Period. No one escapes. Let’s make death dignified, let’s celebrate the life (and yes, we sorta do this at funerals), but let’s not wait til it’s too late.  I wonder if other cultures (read primitive, cuz they are not sophisticated like us) have a better grip on this. Many understand the ebb and flow of life as a continuum, one stage just naturally follows another.

And so – to echo Joan Rivers – can we talk? I’m ready – are you?